laststandonzombieisland

Things I fear the most:  spiders, walking sticks (bugs), and zombies.  While I know how to deal with the first two threats, I must constantly study how to off a zombie before I become one.  Yet, the hardest part of studying good tactics for a zombie war is that it hasn’t happened yet; there is no comparison to base how one would destroy these creatures.  The only thing we have to prepare ourselves for a possible zombie war is sound logic.  That’s when it becomes necessary to debunk the myths that many horror movies show, however, make no sense when you are really thrust into a world of zombies and survival.  So here are the most basic myths that should be dismissed:

Sadly, they both missed the online blowout Christmas specials.

MYTH:  Zombies run as fast as humans, if not faster.

Well, no and yes.  Unlike the movies, when a zombie is first turned they undergo a stage when their bodies physically die.  Immediately after the death occurs the zombie suffers rigor mortis (a stiffening of joints and muscles) for the first few days until the muscles eventually return to a permanently altered state.  The ability to run down or slowly slide to a living person depends on the state of the zombie before they were changed.  If a person was a runner before being changed then they will most likely be a good runner in the undead realm, if not better.  The reason I say that zombie might now be a better runner is that muscle fatigue will no longer affect the body.  Therefore, the ability to feel no pain will keep the zombie running until the living person is devoured, moves from the sensory range of the zombie, or until the muscles eventually shred themselves to pieces.

Yet, the chances of meeting a sprinting zombie are as slim as meeting a triathlon neighbor in today’s society.  Luckily, this is the rare moment when I would actually thank America for being out of shape.  Yet, the flip side of this is that based on America’s low health scores many of us wouldn’t even be able to out-walk a zombie without overly frequent rest stops.  This brings me to my next point….