Since On July 8, 1994, Kim Jong Il has ruled his country. He was a nutjob but at least he got it honestly. His father, the Great Leader Kim Il Sung who ruled for North Korea for 50 years erected more than 34,000 monuments to himself. Benches he sat upon were sealed in glass and preserved forever..to keep that divine buttsweat in.
While in college in the 1960s, Kim Jong Il wrote 1,500 books — an average of almost a book a day, that’s better than Harlequin. He also wrote six operas in four years before he tired of the medium. That of course did not stop him from writing, producing and directing a 100-episode epic documentary about North Korean History on State-run, all-propaganda, free TV. When KJI was born in 1942, (according to this documentary) “a bright star and a double rainbow appeared in the sky and a swallow descended from heaven to herald the birth of a general who will rule the entire world.”
Good old KJI collected more than 20,000 movies, loved Daffy Duck, and the Godfather. Heck, he even collected a few movie stars. In 1978, he had South Korean actress Choi Eun Hee kidnapped and brought to him. She was held a prisoner for 5 years at KJI’s disposal until she agreed to make seven movies for him (I wish this was fiction!)
It is believed that he bought more Hennessy every year than any other single customer. He digs Michael Jordan (who does not)
What’s better than Hennessey, Daffy Duck and kidnapped actors? Pizza! Since Dominoes doesn’t deliver, he kidnapped two Italian chefs (ever heard of Brooklyn?) and held them captive for four years to get his meat pie fix secured. It was only after they passed on the secrets of good deep dish that they were allowed to leave four years later
He is also a keen roller blader, loved roasted donkey and in 2004, he claimed to invent the Hamburger.
Ah you 5-foot-3-inch Stalinist in 70s specs and elevator shoes, the world will miss you.
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